Everybody's doing it, so why the hell should I?

One gal's journey into discovering her sexuality

(Haters need not apply.)

Hey everyone!

Just an average gal here. Nothing special.
This will basically be a blog for me to feel out things I'm not comfortable putting on my main.

For the brave of heart: Strap yourselves in. It's gonna be a bumpy ride.

What people think being asexual is like



What it’s really like



Allosexuals who are intimidated by the presence of asexuals like

what do you think we’re going to do? TURN YOU ACE?


Dear pan and ace people,

Fckh8 have said they’re going to bring out products for pan and ace people in light of this summer’s giant fuckup.


FCKH8 have a long history of being a horrible organisation, focussed solely on cis gays and lesbians (and maybe bisexuals sometimes too). Check out http://stopfckh8.tumblr.com for info on lots of the shit they’ve done.

They aren’t creating these products because they suddenly care about pan and ace people. They’ve just seen that there’s a market for this stuff, and what FCKH8 cares about isn’t LGBTQ+ people, it’s money.

Please don’t fund this horrible, for-profit company. They don’t truly care about LGBTQ+ people, and they don’t deserve our support.

You’re about as sexually attractive to me as a turtle: Coming out as asexual in a hypersexual culture


I’m in Salon again. It’s pretty cool because I actually got to talk about some of our community’s political issues, though some stuff I said about intersectionality got chopped. As is predictable, the comments are already filling up with “lol mentally ill” and “this isn’t SCIENCE,” so tread carefully should you decide to look.






Allosexism, therefore, refers to an ideology privileging people who are sexually attracted to other people, and prejudices arising from that ideology.

So without touching the rest of this, I’m just going to come right out and ask, exactly how are homosexual people sexually privileged?  Before you can even begin to bandy about allosexism, you must first demonstrate how having sexual attraction is something which privileges ALL people of ALL non asexual orientations.  And, if this IS something you can demonstrate then you have to explain how it does NOT apply to gray and demi people, as they DO feel sexual attraction.

I just.

This is why ~sexual supremacy~ is a dumb as fuck concept, and I just wish people in the asexual community would stop trying to make it a thing over and over again.  There is no privilege for experiencing sexual attraction.  There is only one sexual attraction that is privileged in this society, and it’s the hetero kind.  This is an immutable fact about society that you cannot deny, and it’s really infuriating that so many people seem to be intent on the casual dismissal of how homophobia affects homosexual people in order to bandy about concepts to apply to homosexual people that don’t actually apply at all.

If I tell my coworkers I’m gay the will not treat me less awfully if I assure them that my gayness is totally sexual.  If anything I will get MORE shit for it.  Because homosex is especially disgusting and awful.  Homosexual sexual attraction is not privileged.  Allosexism is YET ANOTHER version of the homophobic tripe that is ~sexual supremacy~.  Just.  Please.  Stop.

I don’t think anyone is claiming that all allosexuals are privileged over all asexuals in all situations, or even that asexuals are more discriminated against than homosexuals, over all.

I’d say discrimination exists against both homosexuals and asexuals (and any other sexual minority), and that the form and level of discrimination in both cases can vary depending on the specific situation, the people involved, etc.

Here are just a few examples of times I, personally, have experienced allosexism:

  • When I first came out as asexual to my mother (who is not at all homophobic, and had been aware of and completely accepting of the fact that some of my friends were gay for a few years before that) at the age of 17, she said something to the effect that she would be more inclined to believe someone my age saying they were, since that would be based on things they had actually felt, than me saying I was asexual. She seemed to be assuming I was actually straight and just not interested in sex yet.
  • Surveys and the like that ask if I’m gay, straight, or bisexual.
  • I used to be in a group of friends where being gay/bi was about as common as being straight and totally accepted by everyone, but when I told them I was asexual, someone tried to tell me I was “broken.” They also tended to get annoyed at me if I brought up my asexuality nearly as much as many of them brought up their various forms of allosexuality.

Yes, there are definitely some communities and situations in which there is more discrimination against homosexuals than asexuals, but there are also definitely cases where the opposite is true. The existence of homophobia and the existence of allosexism are not mutually exclusive.

Unfortunately, I’m about to run, but regarding the allosexism and homophobia, can I jsut say:

It’s called intersectionality.

 intersectionality  intersectionality  intersectionality  intersectionality  intersectionality  intersectionality  intersectionality  intersectionality  intersectionality  intersectionality  intersectionality intersectionality intersectionality  intersectionality  intersectionality  intersectionality  intersectionality  intersectionality 

got it?

Privilege is not a binary; it’s not as simple as being privileged or being not privileged. For example, I can be at the same time privileged for appearing white, yet oppressed for being a woman - these two identites will affect me differently, but they do not cancel each other out, nor does one trump the other - instead, they intersect.

And the same goes for someone who is sexual, but not heterosexual: They can simultanously be privileged by allosexism, but oppressed by heterosexism. And again, one does not erase the other or cancel it out - instead, they intersect.



I like to think she wears a jumper because a bakery is the only place warm enough for her demonic skin.

Vote for the next one!



I actually have the shirts (and stickers) available :D Asexual here and Aromantic here.

I actually like the Asexual!Haru idea and thought to put him in a shirt design I’ve had in my head. I added Gou too ‘cause headcanon is that she’s Aromantic which explains why she hasn’t shown interest in anyone beyond aesthetic c:

Anyway! Done with quick doodle, back to work UuU

[W]e live in a sexually liberal society, not a liberated one. A truly liberated society is one where sex is value-neutral and not having sex is just as acceptable as having a lot of it.

The fact that asexuals are considered weird, sick, abnormal, mentally ill, repressed, etc is a bold indicator that we are not living in a sexually liberated society but in a liberalized one.

The Thinking Asexual, “Women, Passion, and Celibacy | Introduction: Celibacy is Not Hereditary” (via cakewithcaroline)     


get rid of the idea that asexuals who have sex are less asexual because of it


Because nobody deserves to feel alone.
high resolution »


Because nobody deserves to feel alone.