Everybody's doing it, so why the hell should I?

One gal's journey into discovering her sexuality

(Haters need not apply.)

Hey everyone!

Just an average gal here. Nothing special.
This will basically be a blog for me to feel out things I'm not comfortable putting on my main.

For the brave of heart: Strap yourselves in. It's gonna be a bumpy ride.



Stop using “asexuals are only 1% of the population” as an excuse to dismiss them or try to invalidate people because you know how many people are on this fucking planet? Over seven billion people.

So you know how much “1% of the population” is?? Over seventy million people.

That’s double the size of the entire population of Canada. The entire population of Canada could be asexual.

shhh nobody’s supposed to know


I need representation of asexual and/or sex-repulsed people because the media posits that a 40-year-old virgin is something to be mocked, pitied, and “remedied.”



hey guys, I just had a pretty cool idea. you know how next week (october 26- november 1) is asexual awareness week? it is INCREDIBLY important that everyone, asexual AND allosexual, makes it a Huge Freaking Deal. let’s make it blow up. let’s make it so that next year is asexual PRIDE, not AWARENESS. 

This is really important. Everyone deserves awareness and pride in their identity! Keep this in mind next week.


tbh the fact that asexuals get ‘awareness’ and not ‘pride’ should immediately alert you to the severe degree of marginalization we face even and especially within the queer community 


Destroy all asexual elitists who believe

  • demi’s and grays are just allo’s and can fuck off
  • you have to have dysphoria and desire for your genitalia to be removed in order to be a real asexual
  • masturbating makes you allo
  • more and more people are saying they’re ace because they think it’s ~*~cool~*and*~trendy~*~


*Reads an article about LGBTQIA+ people*
Me: yay they're including Ace people!
Article: the A stands for Allies!!
Me: ... *implodes*


"Aromantics and asexuals are basically straight"


nice heteronormativity y’all

When I tell them I’ve never had sex
—that I am a “virgin”—
I am praised
“That’s smart of you”
“How good of you to wait till marriage”
“You can’t find girls like you anymore”

When I tell them that I’m not waiting for anything
That I probably won’t ever be married
That I’m simply following my desires
—my “lack” of desire—
I am scorned

“Don’t be ridiculous”
“Everyone wants sex”
“You’ll change your mind one day”
“You just haven’t found the right man”
“I feel sorry for you; I’d never want to be like that”
“Don’t you think that’s a bit selfish of you”

But I know that if I did want sex
If were to have sex
I would be shamed
“Learn to keep your legs closed”
“What will your husband think”

Why do I have to want sex only to be hated for wanting it?
Why am I derided for doing what I would be told to do if I weren’t doing it?
Why must I act in accordance to the husband I’ll never have?
Why should I “save” myself for a wedding night I’ll never want?
Why am I shamed for doing nothing? For wanting nothing?

“It’s such a waste”
“Aren’t you lonely”
“You should get help for that”
“Quit being such a prude”
“Don’t say that, you’ll meet someone”
“Don’t you want to give your parents grandkids”

One day
They’ll say I’ve waited too long
When I wasn’t waiting for anything in the first place
They’ll impart condolences for imagined regrets
When I have been content all along

Why should it matter
If my only kiss was with my friend on the elementary playground
The rest given to pets and cheeks
If the only bed I’ve shared was with a friend
Pillows and whispered secrets between us
If I prefer held hands, arms wrapped around shoulders and waists, ankles locked under tables
Carefully doled affection among friends

“Are you sure”
I have always been

Who Says I’m “Missing Out”, a poem I wrote about being asexual/aromantic, published in volume one issue two of The Outrider Review (via writingqueer)

(Source: this-is-my-goddamn-revolt)



Lots of other folks have been saying this but I figured I’d add some visuals. This one’s in honor of all the aromantic non-ace-spectrum folks.

(Image 1: A circle labeled “asexual spectrum,” containing a smaller circle labeled “aromanticism.” The image is captioned “No.”

Image 2: A circle labeled “asexual spectrum,” overlapping with a different circle, labeled “aromantic spectrum.” The area of overlap is labeled “aro aces.” The image is captioned “Yes.”)