Everybody's doing it, so why the hell should I?

One gal's journey into discovering her sexuality

(Haters need not apply.)

Hey everyone!

Just an average gal here. Nothing special.
This will basically be a blog for me to feel out things I'm not comfortable putting on my main.

For the brave of heart: Strap yourselves in. It's gonna be a bumpy ride.

theperksofbeingadylan:

notafraidofstopping876:

uberin-general:

midbloods:

gETTING HUGGED BY PEOPLE WHO ARE PHYSICALLY TALLER AND BIGGER THAN YOU IS AMAZING

ITS LIKE BEING WRAPPED IN A BIG WARM PROTECTIVE HEAT BLANKET AND ITS WONDERFUL

YEAH

HUGGING PEOPLE THAT ARE LITTLER THAN YOU IS GREAT TOO LIKE THEY FIT PERFECTLY IN YOUR ARMS AND THEY’RE LITTLE AND ADORABLE AND REMINISCENT OF HUGGING A SMALL ANIMAL

JUST HUGGING PERIOD

HUGS

arrowacevarric:

I hate seeing sex positive people be like UGH [SEX REPULSED] ACES ARE SO SEX NEGATIVE…..

like I’m pretty sure someone with a peanut allergy would be pissed off if everything at every restaurant contained peanuts and all the entire fucking planet talked about was how much they loved eating peanut butter and how amazing it is for you. eat peanut butter, it’ll reduce stress, improve your relationships, and make you more fun! and, uh, it’s OK to not eat peanut butter I guess, but we’re literally never going to accommodate for you, everyone’s going to assume you eat it and the instant you ask for shit to change we’re going to label you peanutphobic

like bro shut the fuck up and realize that not everything you enjoy is inherently good and start accommodating the people who don’t like shit or can’t have shit

Here is a PSA

thewaytheyusedto:

  • not all asexuals are sex repulsed
  • not all asexuals are sex repulsed
  • not all asexuals are sex repulsed

and a bonus:

  1. allosexuals can be sex repulsed

so now you know.

tedkordisanasshole:

You may think that that ace post about asexuals feeling broken is exagerated but let me tell you Ive went through over hundred pages in my psychology textbook and every 3/4 pages is repeated how EVERYONE has to have sex to be NORMAL and those who DON’T are STUNTED and BROKEN and need to be REPAIRED and let me tell you it’s fucking me up a lot

theplaceinsidetheblizzard:

People are allowed to be repulsed by sex.

People are allowed to be uncomfortable with nudity.

People are allowed to be uncomfortable with genitalia, their own or others. 

There are so many reasons why people may feels this way, from dysphoria to being asexual to coping with sexual assault to just straight up that’s how they feel.

And that’s ok.

swankivy:

writingfromfactorx:

spookyrice:

dear asexual community,

hugs and cuddles and tea parties are great but the only way we’re going to get people to take the community/orientation/asexual spectrum as a whole seriously is by starting an actual movement/revolution. blog about it all you want, but nothing is going to get done efficiently unless we need start an uprising for fair representation and so people don’t automatically dismiss us when we confide in them.

also stop with the cake thing, it’s not funny/cute and it’s making the entire community look bad.

we deserve to be known for our thoughts and feelings on a relatively little-known subject, not petty inside jokes or stereotypes.

solidarity for asexuals!

love,
a radical leftist polyromantic greyish asexual.

….what? what?

Are you advocating some kind of anarchist, down-with-sex takeover here, or am I completely failing in reading comprehension? What exactly do you want people to do here? 

Also, wow at the idea that “nothing is going to get done unless we do something completely new!” Look, I’ve been IDing as ace since 2006, and you would not believe the change I see around me in how many people know about asexuality and are friendly about it. Okay? That change has been accompished in only about a decade—astronomical for social change—by people using tactics that boil down to “go out and talk to people.” What do you mean, start a movement? There’s lots of movement already happening. 

In my experience, erasing the activism done by everyone who came before you is not an effective way to encourage people to get involved. Neither is insulting the way that people interact with their communities. I’m not all that interested in cake jokes or cuddle parties, but I’m also not bothered by people finding community in ways I don’t care for. Or did you assume that everyone who blogs about asexuality on tumblr is primarily talking to allo people?

It’s really ironic that you call for “solidarity for asexuals” in the second line after you insult the way that a subset of the community interacts with itself, is all I’m saying. Is solidarity for everyone, or is it just for aces who seem appropriately serious to outsiders? 

Hmm … yeah, pretty much. The original post suggests nobody’s actually doing anything important despite the fact that I have personally participated in such activities as, oh, groups of asexual people educating the wider queer movement about asexuality, groups of asexual people writing a memo to have asexuality included in ENDA (the federal non-discrimination legislation), groups of asexual people participating in visibility events like Pride, groups of asexual people giving interviews to the mainstream media so more people can be educated, and groups of asexual people creating resources that we offer to other groups for their use in interacting with asexual people.

Also, I’m always kinda surprised when people suggest it’s cake jokes or some inside thing that “makes the asexual community look bad.” I have literally never heard an “I can’t take you seriously” comment from anyone except Too Cool For School asexual people on account of cake, ace flags, the word “ace,” or any cultural aspect of the subculture. And if you aren’t aware that every subculture develops memes even if they have zero to do with the definitive aspects of its population—you know, like gay men and show tunes—then I guess you’ve never paid attention to how groups of people work. Inside jokes are a normal, natural part of a subculture, and it happens within microcultures like single-interest forums as well as macrocultures like the queer movement.

"Stop naturally participating in an evolving culture so you don’t Make The Rest Of Us Look Bad" is kind of childish, to be honest. It demonstrates ignorance of how interaction in subcultures works and blames harmless cultural memes for setting the movement back. I assure you I heard just as many condescending, mocking, dismissive shit comments before there was an asexual community’s supposedly embarrassing antics to blame, because I started calling myself "nonsexual" at age 15 in the mid 1990s. The existence of a community has helped, not hurt, the legitimacy of the orientation in the eyes of the majority, because they feel less comfortable invalidating a known, visible social quantity than they do pissing on an individual.

We got this. We’re doing pretty damn well, actually.

deducecanoe:

lost-in-hammerspace:

This has been a psa about Aesthetic Attraction by me

That is a really fucking beautiful cat. I wish to adopt it immediately.

Confession #2

swankivy:

asexyrainbow:

hanonyourfun:

asexualconfessions:

If you use the words “asexy” or “cake” when you talk about asexuality,

you have no right to bitch when someone doesn’t take your asexuality seriously.

However, if you use the words “fruity,” “queer,” “gay,” or “lesbian,” it is an outrage if someone doesn’t take your heterosexuality “serious.”

Don’t act like (a)sexuality is a secret society that requires the use of only certain words.

Wow. Now I’m being told that using the term “asexy” means I don’t take my asexuality seriously? That it warrants people to laugh or be rude to me? As the above response puts forth - I’ve known others of different sexualities to use the above words and ones not mentioned above about themselves - but I still take their sexuality seriously.

Honestly, for someone who is supposedly supporting with an Ace-blog; you’re extremely elitist and oppressive over people that are just like you.

Lighten up a little. We can still expect to be taken seriously, take our sexuality seriously and still feel happy and SAFE about it without having to stick to certain “rules”. If we limit ourselves to everything being so humorless and bland - we’re only going to perpetuate the stereotype that we’re boring, uninteresting prudes. Which we are NOT.

Burp. The idea that any one of us is an embarrassment to the community because of how we express ourselves is very dangerous, actually.

I think policing our community is a good idea if we’re saying something offensive to other groups, being elitist, spreading misinformation about how some subsection of asexuality is the only “true” one, or speaking hostilely while claiming to be representative. But requiring that we all be Srs Asexual Activists all the time in all aspects of our lives in order to deserve respect is not only unnecessary; it’s also unrealistic. Every community has a silly side, a serious side, and its own in-jokes; that’s what happens when a culture develops, even if it’s a micro-culture. I don’t personally like the word “asexy,” and I don’t personally make a lot of noise about cake, but I’m not going to blame the people who do enjoy these expressions for dragging us down and making the outside world less likely to respect us.

Just like it’s dangerous to suggest that the asexual people in the media need to be unassailable, it’s dangerous to hold some members of the community responsible for our lack of being taken seriously just because they might be sillier than we are while discussing harmless things and having fun. The “you’re just asking for disrespect and shaming if you behave like that” comment invokes a far darker and scarier concept and I think we really, really need to stay away from it.

(Source: )

sadyuri:

Important tweets from your pal clover
high resolution »

sadyuri:

Important tweets from your pal clover

ticktock-timelord:

the only d i want is a dragon